Sat Nam Beautiful Souls,
I took some much needed time off of social media (aside from insta). Like a solid 6 months...aka the first two trimesters of this pregnancy. So much creative energy is used to bring life into this world and my body told me numerous times to slow down, way down, the time will come. I listened.
This reminds me of reading one of Joanna Gaines blog posts about her journey towards opening magnolia. She opened it and shut it down because God whispered to her be with your children now, your time will come again. She listened and what do you know her time did come. She trusted. She had faith.
I am not a person of a particular religion, but I do believe in a big powerful source of energy, love and light out there. God, Universe, Source, Light....and the whole angelic crew that goes with it. I too had this experience. I was on a roll, a big powerful flow with getting The Wildflower Tribe up and running. I was loving every second of it...feeling so yogi, so zen, so badass. Then one day I got the download to stop everything for a bit. I needed to give myself space and recharge my creative juices. I was heartbroken, confused, angry, and mad at yoga. I am a type A personality so my ego takes a hard hit when I have to surrender and let go of control.
The six months of downtime and making my life private again felt amazing. I realized I wasn't quite done healing my postpartum experience and I had still had some gaps of knowledge to fill. I knew yoga and mindfulness could heal a person, but I didn't realize the actual physical effects of birth and HOW important diet was. Food has energy, food has life...food can give your body that universal light and love just like raising your Kundalini can.
I also am an introvert so I was beginning to become drained with people asking me about yoga and meditation. I felt like they were putting me on a different level of humanity that I was feeling false about being a real human and like they didn't think I experienced the highs and lows anymore. Not true. Never will be. I just have tools to navigate through these to have a more powerful, present, truthful and compassionate experience.
The truth is I learned a hell of a lot about myself through this all. I opened a yoga studio to close a yoga studio because---well I chose my babies. My heart couldn't give up that time with them. I will have the chance to teach and share yoga in so many ways, but that time, being present and teaching yoga to my babies and infusing them with LOVE will go by in the blink of an eye.
I was so mad at myself for saying yes, to wasting time---SO MUCH TIME, to wasting money, to telling people yes and changing my mind to a no. My favorite spiritual teacher and mentor would always say, Trust Bailee, Trust. You are being challenged to trust. I was beginning to hate the mundane world and wonder why I was given such a wild mind, passionate heart, and connection to source if I couldn't do anything with it.
Then I realized I was doing so much with it and that I was transforming beyond my own eyes. I fell upon the worlds of Mother Teresa, "If You Want To Change The World, Go Home And Love Your Family". And so I did. And in the process healed some serious emotional trauma from my husbands hospital experience when we first got married, and had light bulb moments into postpartum mental health.
If I was going to show up for all of you in a big way to help you navigate through the amazingly powerful postpartum experience I needed to heal some old wounds. I fell upon the book, Medical Medium ( A MUST READ FOR EVERYONE) and realized there was a reason I was placed in my husbands life as he went through his Ulcerative Colitis journey. Spirit was speaking through me to protect him, save his colon, and get him to a place where he could heal. I got to close this chapter because of this book and take a breath of fresh air that it was just the beginning of me using my gift of healing and connection to source to help empower people's lives.
To conclude, I have learned so much about postpartum depression and health in general from the Medical Medium and Kelly Brogan that I can't wait to share with all of you to help you heal your life and come into union with your best self. It doesn't have to be hard, but it does involve you committing to truth and to change.
You have the power to question everything your doctor's say if you aren't feeling right still.
I hope that what I share here on this site with help you become empowered to make your own choices towards a perfectly holy, happy, and healthy you.
That is all of my rant for now...
Toddlers screaming for me...ha!